Hellidays

So one thing we must get straight: I LOVE the Holidays.
I love everything about them: The cold weather, the decorations, spending time with my extended family, and especially the food.
FOOD. I know. There was no way I was going to keep up my ABC through the holidays.
Day 10: Fast.
It was Wednesday, the first day of thanksgiving break. I was pretty sure I'd be able to keep up. After all, fasting does not involve any calorie counting of any kind.
I went to the zoo, to Cafe Express, and then to Harry Potter (again) with some of my closest, most awesome friends (the Book Club, as we tell our parents...) I was fine. I hung out at the mall and took silly pictures with my friends and watched as they stuffed themselves, citing a made up blood test for the reason that I could not eat.
Then I got home, and I ate.
I purged later that day and I felt much, much better. To hold the guilt at bay, I decided to let myself off the strict calorie counting for the holidays. But I was still going to eat as little as possible, I just knew my family would get suspicious if I started measuring and weighing food.
Day 11:
Went to my grandparents' house to eat Thanksgiving dinner and watch a HUGE football game between the University that my family is intimately connected to and their arch rivals. I ate barely anything during dinner and I was proud of myself.
But then I ate again. I didn't have the pie my grandma offered for dessert, but I did have a cookie and several slices of pumpkin bread. I was SO angry at myself. Even when my dad's alma-mater won the football game, I didn't have the heart to be happy.
Days 12-14:
I only ate breakfast these next three days, and my breakfasts consisted of all raw all organic food. We were at my family ranch, in very close quarters. At my house I typically wait until my parents are in bed and then measure out all my food for the next day. Here there was no way I could do this.
However, I did get some gorgeous pictures, which are posted at the beginning and end of this entry. Photography is a bit of a hobby of mine. And although, in my opinion, I've done WAY too much nature photography, my ranch is the only place I actually have time for photography. I need to start spending more time with the camera, honestly.
So, I'm restarting ABC today with a fast, which has gone well so far (it's 6:15 my time). Tomorrow is 150 calories, and the official day number 11 of ABC.

"I know it may look like I was being a bitch..."

"But that's only because I was acting like a bitch."
Okay, if you look at the Stuff I like page (hint: you should,) you could see that I love drama (and yes, I'm one of those girls.)
So here's the latest drama. And, yes, I'm mostly posting this to vent.
I have this friend who is named Brenda* and she is a bitch. She is positive that she is the leader of the group that we hang out in, but she can never do anything with us because she gets in stupid fights with her parents over thinks as dumb as refusing to go in the house. This is not even a joke; that is really one of the fights she had with them. (PS: She is NOT our leader. Not even close.)
She has a boyfriend, in college. But recently, she's become close friends with a few guys that go to one of the Catholic schools near us. They literally rotated around her. She wanted to join our groups, but she got grounded (again) and could never do anything. So, the most outgoing of the group, Sam**joined up with us on the day we were all going to meet. The other two boys thought it was going to be awkward, so they bailed.
Sam and all of my friends became pretty good friends. We all hang out together all the time now. However, Brenda is still Grounded, and we still haven't met John* or Clark*. The other day, her parents were going to temporarily let her out to go get dinner with us. That day she told Sam that she, John, and Clark were going to stay at her house and watch a movie instead. This is mildly irritating at first, but it gets worse. She said she didn't want us hanging out because she was scared her different friend groups would start dating and it would get awkward. It gets even worse. Several days before that, Annie*** said she was somewhat interested in John. Brenda said she would set them up. Then, the next weekend, she totally metaphorically bitch slaps Annie and does this.
Now, I'm making plans with all of my friends, and not inviting Brenda. She's still grounded, but she's pissed, and she ambushed Annie today in the hall about our plans. Annie told me. I texted Sam** and asked if he told her about our plans. He said he's been avoiding her, and that he doesn't want her to come either.
So am I a bitch? No, I'm just acting like one.

*If you can't tell by my totally lame, made up names, all names have been changed.
**Yes, the Sam in the previous post.
***Yes, the same Annie from the previous post. I know, right?

Day 10: Something Amazing Happened Today

First off let me start by saying that I have no luck with guys. The situation is always the same. We flirt, we spend time alone when we're with a group of friends, he texts me a lot. I always think he's SO close to asking me out and then... Either nothing happens, or he asks someone else out.
Today he asked someone else out. My friend Annie, who is twenty pounds heavier than me. TWENTY POUNDS. That's right folks. Twenty whole pounds. And she's a size 4. SIZE 4. I'm a size zero. And she's kind of annoying. But today when she came up to me in the locker room and said "Sam asked me out!" I could feel my heart plummet. But, by now I've learned to keep a happy face, so I just smiled while my mind reeled.
First of all, allow me to acquaint you with Sam. I don't have a crush on him, but he's one of those boys that has always acted like he likes me. He once did ask me out, and for four days our plans were just the two of us, and then at the last second he invited all of our mutual friends. First he checked with me, but of course I said he could invite them all! What was I supposed to say? Also, he's cute. And those are the only reasons I ever had any inkling of attraction for him: He's cute and he's expressed faint interest in me before.
What is wrong with me, you ask? Well that's a whole other can of worms that I'm not sure I ever want to open.
So Sam asked Annie out. I celebrated with her, then went to practice and felt like shit, then came home and felt like shit. Then my mom offered me some vegetarian lasagna.
I almost caved. I really did. I ate a few bites, but then I stopped myself.
What the hell am I doing? I asked myself. Was I really going to let mildly-attractive Sam's quasi-rejection of me drive me to a binge? Was I really going to let him have that kind of power over me?
NO.
So I'm still here, wondering why I don't have a boyfriend, generally hating my life. But, I'm also barely over my quota of 500 calories for the day. It's too early to call today a success, but I wouldn't call it a failure either.
Now all I need is a boyfriend. I'm not even going to lie to myself: I know that my self confidence hinges dangerously on boys' attraction to me. I don't care. I need a goddamn boyfriend, I'll worry about why when I'm older and expected to act mature (maybe not even then).

Days 4-9

Wow, it's been awhile. Five whole days. How did everyone stand it without updates on my mundane life?
This weekend I attended a football game at my dad's alma-mater with my parents and some family friends. That meant tailgating.
Because we don't do bratwursts and barbecue, the tailgate table was spread with hummus and pita chips, all kinds of desserts, some kind of Asian chicken salad, brownies, cookies, and just about everything that could possibly break your will. This lead to a mini break down. I would call the weekend a complete failure. I went a tiny bit haywire.
But I got back up, which is the only reason I'm okay now. Sunday afternoon, though I stuck to the diet Sunday, I was about to kill myself (not literally, don't worry that much). But you know that horrible, sinking feeling you get when your stomach is full and all you want to do is feel hungry again? That's how I felt. Like I was carrying a weight in my stomach.
So Sunday and today were a good day. I lost a pound.

Days 2 and 3.

Did you guys think I gave up after the first day? Ha! How little y'all know me.
I left my computer at school because I'm dumb, so here's the run down for day #2:
I was hungry. But that's a typical, welcome feeling.
However, I was also dumb. I let myself eat half a veggie pattie when I'd already reached my calorie quota for that day. Don't worry, I stopped after that, but my day's calories amounted to 602 instead of 500. And when you're only eating 500 calories a day, 602 is about a 20% increase. That's too much. That's the different between an 80% and a 100% on a test. Not okay.
So for that I earned 20 snaps on the wrist with my rubber band.
And today I stuck to the diet perfectly. It was a 300 calorie day, but when I sat down last night and planned my meals I decided to give myself a 20 calorie leeway. Boy did that come in handy. The parental units decided we were going to have a family meal, just the three of us, so I had to take about two bites of this sick spaghetti-cheese casserole. I managed to hide the rest (even when they're paying extra attention, they're really oblivious).
I remember the days when I used to be teriffied that my parents would find the empty food wrappers hidden around the house. Now I'm terrified they'll find the places I hide my uneaten food before I get the chance to throw it away.

ABC Day 1

Whoa, I've been gone for so long.
And I still weigh the same as I did when I left. That is not okay.
This is my first day on the ABC diet. It's a 500 calorie day. I've planned out all my meals for the day. So far I have only dinner left: a teaspoon of peanut butter.
I'm not sure how I'm feeling right now, but I want to record my experience through this 50 days of the ABC diet, to save it for myself or for posterity or some other junk like that. So here it goes. Day 1.

Edit
8:30 Monday night.
I'm not hungry at all. My parents just forced me to sit down and eat dinner with them, But I took a few bites of salmon and spat them into my napkin before covering the rest of the food with my napkin and dumping it in the sink.
Like I said, they aren't the most observant people in the world.
They were only trying to get me to come talk to them, since I spend so much time holed up in my room doing homework, studying, and basically avoiding them and the kitchen. In my rational mind I know that. But in my irrational mind I bristled at their request to come eat with them. I got angry. This is an assault on my eating habits. This is not okay.
But now I'm here, I'm drinking peppermint tea, and I'm able to tell you that my first day of the ABC diet was almost too easy.

Weekend! Pictures! Other stuff!

I don't have much to say, which is honestly a rarity for me.

Enjoy it while you can.

Something you should know about me: I take a lot of random pictures. And I've decided that many of those are going to end up here! Because I know you guys would just love to get a visual of what I do with my time!

This is a Ferrari. That sign says free car. I love my neighborhood.

But I hate big trucks, especially when they tailgate me. Ew.

You don't even understand how obsessed I am with this house. And it's for sale! I'm just waiting for an open house so I can go check out the inside.

Dinner at the club again, this time with my friend Annie. Wine? Why not? My mom gets sloppy drunk every time we go over there. Besides, it was just about a half a glass for me.
I'm not 21, but Carmen the waitress has known me since I was a toddler and never says no to me.

I promised other stuff in the title, but I lied.