Binge [binj] N:
1. A period or bout of excessive eating
2. An excessive indulgence of anything.
3. A period in which Megan eats over three hundred calories in one sitting.
I'm both encouraged and, somewhere in the back of my mind, vaguely concerned. I ate two pieces of shrimp and a wad of spinach topped with sliced cherry tomatoes.
In my previous life this would have been a good meal. In this life it is a devastation and a failure.
I know I eat much less than the average person, but it still isn't enough. The problem is not just that I'm not thin enough, it's that I sometimes slip up and eat enough. It's that enough fills my stomach and my thoughts. It's that enough fills that void that should never be filled. I'll only be happy when enough is nothing at all and when nothing at all is enough.
I can relate to what you mean about enough in the last couple of sentences. Only i call enough blur. I feel like food covers up my blur and i can see too well and feel too well and smell and touch and everything bad in life is just too there.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to your posts! You right very well.